Time seems to have slipped away again

Where did the time go... when did my children just sprout up in front of my eyes!! Tonight as I was putting dishes up from the dishwasher, Gray helped me... he handed me every dish one by one to be put up! I know its a small gesture, but it made me think, "wow, he's really growing up". Karlynn is trying to sit up on her own... she will rise up to try and sit up but, she hasnt quite got the hang of it!! It seems like I just brought her home from the hospital!!! Naturally when things like this hit me I wonder what my lil Karson would be doing. With his 3rd birthday fast approaching I am constantly reminded that he isn't here... which is so hard, still, for me to grasp.

It has been a while since I have posted but I have been super busy! These two lil monsters keep me on my toes these days, so when bedtime rolls around I am never too far behind them. I have had some pretty trying times these past 2 weeks but thankfully I am overcoming it, and thankfully my husband has been an AMAZING encourager! It is always the best feeling to know that you have a man who supports you 150% and will always be by your side. It makes me proud to know that my marriage gets stronger everyday even when he is halfway around the world!

Tomorrow I am hosting a party for a very close family friend of ours who lost the majority of her things in a house fire that occured earlier this month! I have been very excited about this because it is always a rewarding feeling to know that you are helping someone out especially when it is such a fantastic person. This, also, has kept me pretty busy with getting invitations, food, and everything together for it... I am also excited about it because my bff Kacey is helping with the party! Any time spent with her is ALWAYS exciting for me!

This past weekend me and my sister went to see Jason Aldean for her birthday... it was amazing to get away with her and remind myself why I love her so much! She is crazy and fun, and truly a blessing in my life and it is always great to spend time with her! Of course, we acted like fools... dancing and singing like lunatics... but thats what life is all about! Spending time and making memories with the people that we love the most~

In a couple of weeks I will be going to FL to go look at some future possibilities for our next home! This is always exciting because its almost like picking out the perfect photo album to hold all of your treasured pictures! This next home will be the cradle of so many memories... as have all of our homes! Every home we have lived in has had a special memory, either it was the first home for one of my children, where one of them first walked, one of them first talked... and so on. I am excited to be getting out of MS too. This past week has been a bit too hectic for my liking and I am in desperate need of a break and an excuse to get away and not be expected to do anything that I don't want to! Agh- like a mini vacation if you will...

anyways- Karylnn is rolling all over this bed and I am very very exhausted... and tomorrow will be a LONG day! GOODNIGHT!

what makes a good mommy anyway???

“A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”
-Agatha Christie

I have posted this quote numerous times on my facebook because when I feel powerless, or beaten by the cruelties of this derranged world, I read it and it empowers me!!! Oh how much truth there is to be discovered in this single quote!

There are not many things that can stop me when it comes to protecting my childen. They are my responsibility and I don't take their protection or health lightly. I love them more than life itself and I love for the world to know it! There is no stronger force I will ever know like the love I have for my 3 babies.

Just thought I would start by getting that off of my chest! Sometimes I feel as though people do not take me serious as a young mom, and it makes me flat out FURIOUS! What makes a mother so great?? It definitely isn't age. I know SEVERAL older mothers who would still in their old age chose partying and a good time over a night in with their children any day. To be honest, those mothers make me want to snatch them up by their little tiny heads with their little tiny brains and shake them until I might possibly shake some sense into their worthless brain!!!

It also doesn't take a college degree or a full time job to be a great mom either. Again, I know PLENTY of mothers with a college degree and a high paying full time job who would chose spending their hard earned money on a babysitter, and a case of beer! I mean WAKE UP PEOPLE! Children are a priceless gift from God! They are little beings that depend on US MOMS for positive upbringings and the right knowledge and life skills to send them on their own life journeys one day! How can they gain these teachings if you are too busy focusing on yourself instead of the beautiful little one you call your child! I wish so badly I could open the eyes of some people, because there is hope for the young generations being born... but there won't be if we don't raise them right.

In no way am I saying I am a perfect mom, but I sleep peacefully at night knowing that I give 210% to my babies. I give them all the love I possibly can, and I do my best to teach them right from wrong!!! I care for them better than ANYONE in this world can, and their health and wellbeing are my #1 priority!!! I dare someone to try and stand in the way of me protecting my babies!! I know I feel sorry for the person that ever tries to jeopardize their lives in any way, shape, or form!!!

ok.

I will step off of my soapbox now!

sooo...

How 'bout them Saints!! :)

Hope you all have a WONDERFUL week!!!

Here are a few pics of 2 little angels that make my heart beat <3

My God is so BIG!

This past week has been hard, real hard. We reached the 2 month mark of our deployment, and for some reason I had a longing for my baby boy so deep that it just put me in a deep dark place. There are so many days that I literally do not know how I will make it through the day and how I can possibly bear a smile for my sweet babies. People ask me so many times how do I do it, how do I make it look so easy. The only conclusion I can gather is that I have a God, that loves me enough to take my on my pain, and carry me through this journey I'm on, all I have to do is cry out to him. And my oh my do I cry out to him... But Amy Grant said it so beautiful when she sang: "We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody. Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts, are better than a hallelujah sometimes."

We were eating supper a few nights ago and my dear nephew said this, word for word!!
"Rii Rii, you know what??? MY God is SO big!" My heart nearly exploded in delight! A 3 year old gets it, but yet so many people don't. Yes, our God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there is nothing my God cannot do!!! He knows that song, and it is so true!!! God can take on the worries of this world just to make it easier on his people!!!

I admit, a year and a half ago, my walk with our Lord was not what it should have been... but through the loss of my baby, it brought me to my knees! I hate it took that horrible event to bring me back. This past year has brought me through the darkest of valley's and shown me there is light and a new day for those who just trust in our God.

God has shown me that when it seems that we cannot go any further, and that we are so broken that we feel the world should just end... he is still there, and to never give up hope. There is beauty in all things, we may not see it now, and we may never see the reasoning in some things... but there is peace in knowing that there is a bigger picture, and there is someone with a masterplan and he knows the best for us all!

While reading a bible study for military wives that a dear friend gave me I came across this scripture:

 ⁷ I will praise the Lord. He gives me good advice.
      Even at night my heart teaches me.
 ⁸ I know that the Lord is always with me.
      He is at my right hand.
      I will always be secure.
 ⁹ So my heart is glad. Joy is on my tongue.
      My body also will be secure.

Psalm 16:7-9

For some reason this scripture put the biggest smile on my heart. Because it goes along so well with where I am in my life. I do praise God, bc he has given me the BEST advice. I know he is always with me, I feel his presence daily... especially when I feel I cannot go on. My heart is glad and joy is in my heart because I know he is at my right hand. Days when I do not know if I will even be able to force a smile for my sweet children are the days that end in laughter and great pleasure, ther is no better explanation for any of it other than it is the work of my miraculous Father!

So tonight as I go to bed with all this on my heart I pray that everyone feels his presence when they may be in the dark times of their life, because it was then in my darkest hour that God took me by the hand and led me to see his mercies that he pours down on his followers daily!

my other half

Simon Thomas Martin

He is the one thing in my life that I can always count on and I know he loves me soooo much.

Sure we had a shotgun wedding soon after I found out I was pregnant with Karson, but it was romantic and beautiful! He completes me and he has given me 3 beautiful babies. I could not ask for a better man to be their father. Watching him with Grayson is like watching a fairytale unfold. I never have to doubt his love for our family because it is always shown. He is without a doubt my hero, and my rock! God could not have picked a better man to be my partner through this journey.

He is in the U.S. Airforce and has sacrificed SO MUCH to make sure we are taken care of. It's a tough job that he does but he does it so courageously! He is the strongest man I know. He holds himself together so well which works out perfect for me because I am usually a mess, but he is the glue that holds me together. He has stood by my side through every bad thing that has come our way, which makes me have 150% faith in our marriage! He has seen me at my weakest and continued to love me, and has seen me at my best and loved me even more. We have gone through more in our three years of marriage than most couples ever go through! He never judges me, he keeps me in check and makes sure I always have my feet planted firmly in the ground. He makes me a better person and makes me want to continue to strive to be better! He knows me better than anyone in this world, and I could not imagine living one day of the rest of my life without him as my man! The best gift he ever gave me was his last name and I wear it proudly! He makes sure that I am taken care of and he rarely makes me do without... Yes, he spoils me BIGTIME!

Do we fight? Yes!

But it makes us stronger.

Do we have bad moments? Yes!

We are human and the bad times make us appreciate the good times.

Does he have bad qualities? Yes!

But his good qualities make it hard to see them most of the time.

Do I have bad qualities? Yes!

But he makes sure he tells me that he loves EVERYTHING about me, the good and the bad.

I am not trying to make Simon out to be some superhuman husband who does no wrong and is completely perfect... but he is COMPLETELY PERFECT FOR ME! I love every part of our marriage; the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful! He is my heart, he is the better part of me, and he is my soul mate. I thank God for sending him to me everyday. He makes me look forward to spending the rest of my life with him and ONLY him!

"and so they lived, happily ever after"

<3

25 by 25

I have seen so many of these lists and it has got me to thinking that there are alot of things that I would like to do by the time I am 25 so I want to make a list and see how much I can check off!!!

I know a couple may be out of my power but hopefully with God's help I can complete alot of these!

1- Get a real estate job
2- Sell our home in GA
3- Visit NYC in the fall
4- Take a family vacation to Disney
5- Control my spending by living on a budget
6- Teach my children to ride a bike
7-  Go on a cruise just me and Simon
8- Learn calligraphy
9- Take a road trip to the west coast
10- Get to know the ladies of the 728th really well
11- Do crafts at least once a week with Gray and when Kar is big enough, her too
12- Visit the Ground Zero Memorial
13- Skydive
14- Swim with dolphins
15- Not go to bed angry with my man
16- Cook meals more often
17- Run a 5k
18- Run a 1/2 Marathon
19- Take the kids at least once a month to visit Karson's grave and make sure they know him
20- Join a church and a bible study group
21-  Have at LEAST one day a month where I devote myself to just one of my children and that day revolve around just "Gray" or just "Karlynn"
22- Work on having more patience with everyone in my life
23- Not cut my hair short for at least a WHOLE year
24- DECLUTTER
25- Have one more baby Martin :) ... okay maybe this should be on the before 30 list!!

Let the fun begin!!! I have 3 years..... Hope I get it all done!

Get crafty...

It may be strange, given the circumstances my little family has been through that I am completely happy with where our life is. I know their daddy is away, but with him gone we are learning the value of our family time.  We know our sweet Karson will never be with us here on earth again, but from him passing on we learned to value every moment we have with each other... That being said, I love they way my babies are now. I love that every day something new comes up. So I want to document it, I want to bottle it up and save it so one day I can look back at it and remember exactly how they were in this very moment!!!

All of this "feeling" brough up a crafty idea for our family to do on September 11. Yes, I am aware that Gray is only 17 months old (today acually) but tomorrow we are going to create a time capsule. I am so very excited about this. We are going to do handprints, and document everything he is into right now... and Karlynn is going to have a part in it too, I just gotta figure it out. But its more for me than them anyways... We will open it in 15 years one the 25th anniversary of September 11. I think it will be a fun way fo me to show them when they are 15 and 14 that even though Sept 11, 2001 didnt effect our family directly that year, that this year in 2011 it did, because their daddy deployed for the 1st time!

I am on a mission to plan cost friendly projects for us because I had to create a budget for myself to gear up for Christmas!

We will see how it turns out! I have been on a google search ALL night trying to figure out what all to do.

But I am exhausted, I have two babies cutting teeth today and Im sure the next few days won't be any better. I have blistered bottomed, sore mouth, cranky, and ill babies and that means it is PAST MY BEDTIME!

Hopefully tomorrow I will have pictures of our time capsule we made!!!

you make me better...

Grayson's love for his sister is astounding to say the least... I mean sure, he flipped her out of her carseat in Walmart. Then the time he forced her to suck on a magnetic dart because he insisted on taking her paci. Lets not forget the time that he was using her body as a ramp for his hot wheels... Sure it sounds like he has it out for her, but somehow it amazes me. He wants to play with her so bad! It is easy for me to over look all the bad times because then I see him hiding under her bouncer and popping up just to make her laugh like in the picture below... nevermind the fact that he just stole her purple paci from her mouth to satisify his craving for his which he couldn't find at the time.



These two kids are a mess... but it is a beautiful mess! He did manage to flip her carseat in the buggy at Walmart, and she fell out (in the buggy)... naturally I lost my temper but after it, he was so sweet to her. He knew he messed up, but all he wanted was for her to get up so he could play with her. Today we were outside playing and I made her a pallet in the wagon, and Gray insisted on pulling her around the yard... he loves to rock her in her rocker, a little too hard at times... but thats not the point. He loves her, and that makes me proud. I am proud to see that I am teaching my children how to love. He loves to give her kisses, and he starts everyday with a hug and a kiss for her. I know that it is a parents job to instill the good qualities in children and to teach them morals and how to understand life and reflecting on my children and the lives they live at this moment, I know I am doing the job right! (pat on my shoulder) Now, I am not bragging... I just happened to have a proud mommy moment and wanted to document it.

These two angels are my heart and soul. They fill my life with nothing but happiness minus the occasional headaches, but the happiness overcomes that! My joy in life is seeing their face light up when Grayson hears the ice cream truck... or Karlynn start to giggle when I'm feeding her bc I am talking to her in the "mommy voice" telling her she's mommy's chunky monkey. Their happiness is pure bliss for me and sometimes its just nice to know that I'm doing something right in this crazy/hectic/messed up world we live in! God gave me these blessings to teach them, raise them, give them roots and wings, and to make sure they know God is the answer to EVERYTHING in their lives. I pray every night that they develope a faith so strong that nothing will break the bond that they have with our Heavenly Father.

In my eyes they are perfect, perfect for me anyways... they were the answers to a prayer when I was longing to feel complete. I can honestly say that I have a purpose in this world and it's to be ALL that I can be for these 2, blue eyed miracles that I chase after, rock to sleep, laugh with, yell at, and dance with every day... for them I am eternally grateful!