My lil angels...

Everyone says it. I know every mother is guilty at some point, and says their babies are angels. Well.... Mine truly are. God gave them to me to pull me out of this deep dark hole I occasionally slip into. He knew I would need them long before I ever knew I would even have them. They bring me so much joy, even when I am about to pull my hair out, yes they still make my heart smile.

I dread the day that Gray or Karlynn asks me who Karson is. I have been getting practice with my sweet nephew, Conner. Here lately he has been asking so many questions about him, like: Where he is, why someone hurt him, and if he is ever coming back. God love him, he helps me in more ways than his little brain can even fathom. Sometimes it is so hard trying to tell him why he isn't coming back... and why we can't have another Karson. He is only my nephew and I get choked up, I can't imagine having to explain it to his brother and sister. But I guess I will face that challenge when it arises.

In the meantime, I made them a book online and ordered it... I cannot wait to get it. It is filled with pictures of him and stories of him and I wrote it as if it were a book he wrote and left for his brother and sister... I cried the ENTIRE time I wrote it, but it was almost theraputic because it was preparing me for the day Grayson wants to know. 'On Angel's Wings' is the name of it. And basically it talks about how he will always be with them through out their life and he talks directly to both of them in parts telling Karlynn that he was with God as he was making her into the little lady she is and how he got to meet her before her mommy did. And tells Gray that everytime he falls and gets a bobo, that he (kar) is the one who always helps him up and dusts off his battle scars. Anyways the tittle comes from: "When you fall I will help you up and you can rest on my Angel wings." which is a recurring line in the book.

I am very excited about it!

Hopefully it will be their favorite bedtime story!

I am so thankful for them all 3 of them... and they really are my lil angels!

night <3